Leadership: The Fallacy of Intimacy





The biggest fallacy that some leaders subscribe to is that intimacy has no place in leadership or business. They subscribe to this fallacy out of fear and a need to protect themselves.
They fear that if they become intimate—that is, if they allow their true selves to be revealed to others—they might lose respect, lose their importance, and lose their power.
The fallacy of intimacy is that if you don’t engage you won’t get hurt.
But life has a way of exposing us, even if we don’t want to be revealed.
Every day, in a thousand ways, we disclose ourselves to the people around us—in our teams and organizations, among our peers, and even with our partners.
Everything we say and everything we do reveals something about who we are. Even the things we don’t say and the things we don’t do tell others something about us.
If you are the kind of leader who is busy building walls and hiding behind masks so you can feel protected, your thinking has one terrible flaw: the things that you feel will protect – will also be what walls you off.
Any leader who has not had their heart touched is leading from a hidden heart.
To bring intimacy into your leadership, you have to be:
Aware. When we allow ourselves to be aware, we have no need to look to others to validate our feelings. We are the first to listen to our heart, then our leadership becomes anchored in self appreciation.
Vulnerable. When we allow others to see our vulnerability we are accepting all of who we are, our entire selves, then our leadership becomes more truthful.
Committed. When we allow others to see what we are committed to, we show them what is deeply important to us, then our leadership becomes more responsible.
Honest. When we speak from the truth, and we say only what we mean and  keep our actions aligned with our words then our leadership becomes deeply rooted in integrity.
Connected. When we allow others to see who we are really are, we can connect on a deeper level, and our leadership becomes focused on people and relationships—then our leadership becomes one of loyalty.
Trustworthy. When we allow others to see our authentic selves, we become trustworthy. Trust then allows our leadership to be honest about ourselves even if it makes us uncomfortable.
     Only after we open ourselves can we intimately lead others. 
The truth about intimacy is that it allows others to relate to us on a more worthwhile level. It gives us permission to care more, it entitles us to be more,  it grows more connections and deeper relationships, it builds more resilient teams, it fosters a positive culture in our business, and it leads to a more purposeful leadership.
Skillinside: Intimacy is not a leadership responsibility. But it should be. And when you treat it as a responsibility, it benefits everyone.
Tamer El-Sagheer
Skillinside

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